Most people who struggle with prayer assume the problem is discipline. They pray too little, too inconsistently, too distracted. So they try harder — more structure, earlier mornings, longer lists. And still, something feels missing. The distance remains.
What if the problem isn’t effort at all?
Attachment theory, one of the most robust frameworks in developmental psychology, tells us that the way we bond with God mirrors the relational patterns formed earliest in life. An anxious attachment produces anxious prayer: restless, urgent, never quite sure God is really there. An avoidant attachment produces distant prayer: transactional, infrequent, emotionally flat. And secure attachment? That’s where genuine intimacy with God begins.
In my new video, I unpack exactly how these patterns show up in your prayer life, and what it looks like to move toward something more secure, more alive, more honest.
